Okay so it's been a super long time since my last post and so much has happened since then! Well I'll start off by saying that me and My BF broke up after the last post and I'm happy again...well at least in that part of my life. Not to say I'm not happy, the rest of my life is still a bit of a mess that's all.
Let's update a little..... My mom is no longer staying here she found a place! Of course now that she doesn't need anything from me I never see her and she never calls. But oh well I'm use to that.
My sister is suppose to move out in a couple of weeks and move to Vegas with her loser BF. I'll believe it when I see it! But I'm hopeful it will happen.
My father spends most of his time at his GF house, but still shows up randomly.
I've spent most of October doing Volunteer work with my kids school everyday. Up until we all got sick with the flu and spent all of last week in bed. I can still work at the school but being a recess teacher in November might take more balls than I have! It's freezing!
My unemployment is up this week, but I applied for emergency unemployment and am still waiting to hear back hopefully I get it other wise I will be homeless! I'm strongly considering college. I live about a mile away from a community college. I've looked into taking classes there. I have to wait until spring because my W2 from last year would make my Pell Grant really small. So I have to wait until the year is over and I have a new low W2! It frustrating I only hope I can make it on my unemployment until then! I've already applied for the spring quarter and have done all my homework, so I'm ready to go :)
My Best Friend Lost her husband The first week of October. I've spent tons of time with her this last month she's grieving a lot. It's been trying of course but as a BF it's my job to stand at her side or really where every she needs me. I'm going to her house again tonight and staying for I don't know how long....I never know.
This also forced me to "talk" To my former BF about are friendship. She has a huge drinking problem and say she cares about other people but really doesn't. The truly sad part about all of this is that she honestly thinks I abandoned her in her hour of need, when it was she who pushed me and everyone else away! She spent the last 3 year distancing herself from anyone who gave a shit about her! And when we finally decided to "talk about it" she refused to see it as anything but her being abandoned! I finally told her we would have to agree to disagree because if she genuinely feels that way, than nothing I say will ever reach her! And to top it off it was Halloween and I had gone to a bar (one we go to a lot) with a friend and she showed up with her BF who is a huge asshole! And my X-BF's best friend. Oh and did I mention my X-BF had showed up earlier with a friend of his! I think the only thing that made this night better was the fact that another guy I used to date showed up with a group of his friends and there was a drunk pirate that kept hitting on me! Argh!
Also I've decide to give up on sex completely!!!!! Not that I don't like it, I love it! I'm just tired of the whole men thing. Oh and I'm not giving up on men either I still want to met them and hangout, but fucking is out of the question! Why? U ask. Well I've had sex sine my x with like 4 people I know I'm a huge slut so what I used protection and never put it in my mouth, so leave me alone okay? lmao! Anyways all of them where total duds! I'll explain ....I'm gonna use fake name tho ha ha ha!
Mr. Nostalgia...... This guy is actually some one I went to school with. He was super nice in high school, but a total jock/good boy/religious virgin. We had a couple classes together I thought he was nice but never someone I would be more then friends with. We meet up at a bar down the street from my house that does awesome karaoke! We hung out a few time talked a lot on the phone and wound up sleeping together. Okay so the sex wasn't that great (he was very into himself) but I still felt like after implying that we would hang out later that day when he dropped me off. That he would at least call me or something, but nope nothing.
Mr. Alpha Male.... Okay so granted, maybe I deserved this one. I broke a cardinal rule of mine with this one, but I didn't even realize I was doing it at the time! Okay the rule is "I do not ever go home with or hookup with anyone I meet at a bar or club.... unless I already know them" I'm almost 30 and until Mr. Alpha Male I never broke that rule. So you can guess what happen right..... I went to the karaoke bar down the street and was alone drinking and watching people sing and this somewhat crazy/off/drunk guy starts talking to me (I love men who are diff. I find them interesting and fun to talk to) So he offers to walk me home because he's walking to and only lives a couple of blocks from me. He convinces me on the way home to go to his place cuz his roommates are all up drinking and having a good time. So we get to his place and everyone is asleep and we stay up drinking and talking and eventually making out which of course leads to sex. He seemed pretty cool, weird, but cool. So we hang out the next morning until about noon and he gives me a ride home and as I'm getting out he says "call me" I said "No you call me, your the guy" I know maybe I'm old fashioned but that's just how I am. Besides he went on and on about how he wanted to see me more and all that. So after a week off not hearing from him he calls me drunk at 2:30 in the morning! Said he was calling me like I asked, being the "Alpha Male" Seriously! I could hear his friends in the back ground and it was more than obvious that he had just left the bar at closing time and was hoping to get a little ass on the way home. Um yeah I don't think so!
The Artist....Okay so this is a guy from my past, great guy glad I meet up with him again (Facebook) So me and this guy hung out and talked for quite awhile, we still talk but are lives, in my opinion are to busy and different for it to work out. I only like to see men on the weekends but he works weekends. So he wants to hang out in the mornings while my kids are at school. But that's when I do my house cleaning and blogging and bathing and just about everything! I do this so when my kids get home from school I've got time for them. Sorry but I'm not giving that up for anything!
Mr. Magnolia, This guy is the one that sent me over the edge lol! Okay so again with the Karaoke bar (I haven't been back by the way!) ....... I met this guy a few weeks ago we exchanged numbers and made plans to go on a date, but my friends husband passed and she needed me a couple of weekends in a row so he said to call him when I had time. So last weekend I called him and we hung out Friday. We had a good time started at his place drinks and convo, then went to a neighborhood bar to play pool, but the table was broken, so back to his place for more talking. Eventually he convinced me to go to bed with him. He had to go to work early so he told me to just sleep in and leave when I wanted to. So I did then I txt him Sat. night (Halloween) That me and a friend where going out for drinks and that he should txt me if he wanted to meet up. So he said he had found something to do after all. So we said have fun to each other and that was that. Now it's been a week and no word from him!
So here's my problem...... Why if your looking for a one night stand or something purely sexual, do I have to listen to you talk about your personal life all night long? I mean if this is nothing more than sex why don't men just be straight about it? I might be open to the idea! It's when I'm forced to put time and effort into something that's completely meaningless, that I feel anger! Don't trick me into sleeping with you under false pretenses! Be honest! And don't tell me we'll hang out again if you have no intention of doing so, it's not like I asked!
Anyhow...I'm tired of dishonesty and all that. Plus the less then great sex that my life has been pledged with lately, together, I'm just not interested anymore!
I just feel like men should be more ........Real!
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